The Essence of Being Me is Taking a Pause Now and Then.
The river of life...
Sometimes it may feel like we are rapidly drifting off course with nothing to hold on to. Sometimes it may seem like our life is more of an obstacle course with multiple rapids than an easy flowing river. Sometimes it may feel like we have no idea where we are going or what is waiting for us on the other side. And then we may wonder: "Am I still on the right track? Should I keep going and trust?"
My journey taught me that the river of life is always taking us in the right direction and that no matter what obstacles appear in the river, we will always flow where we need to go. My journey taught me that the river of life will always provide for a place to rest. That is if we can bring ourselves to surrender.
That being said, I also know that when you appear to be in the middle of rapids, surrounded by nothing but confusion and obstacles, it takes a lot of courage and trust to surrender. And sometimes it is necessary to just take a step back and take a moment to catch your breath. There will always be a rock in the river to just sit on and take a pause. And that is something really important to remember. When the rapids and obstacles get too overwhelming, find that rock, climb on it, and take all the time you need to catch your breath. And sometimes you may come across an island in the middle of the river that is inviting you to spend some time. An island just for you, where you can regroup and prepare for the next part of your journey. These pauses do not mean that you are going against the flow, they are you taking care of you.
And that is exactly what I have been doing in the past couple of months. I allowed myself some time to sit on that island and watch the river flow past me. In doing that I gave myself some precious time to reconnect with myself, my purpose, my journey. The beauty of it is that time is of no importance on the journey of life. It may seem like I spent months on my little island, but in the big scheme of things it was just the blink of an eye. When I was taking this pause, I was confronted with feelings of guilt and weakness. You could say these feelings were the poisonous plants that I had to deal with on my little island. I could have jumped back into the river, but then I would not have discovered the real treasure of spending some time there: a renewed focus and self-awareness.
For all of you on this journey called life I want to say: "Take a pause, catch your breath." In order to keep going on the journey it is necessary to take a step back now and then. No matter where we are on our journey, there will always be times when we lose focus, when we get caught in the doing instead of just being. Times when the rapids and obstacles tend to overwhelm us. And in those times it is important to find that island, find that rock and take a pause. Don't get distracted by the poisonous plants, but sit, relax, and take the time you need so that you can continue your journey with renewed energy and focus.