The Essence of Being Me is seeing the Hidden Treasures
As it is the case so very often, this blog post was inspired again by Mother Nature. When I was out on my daily walk one morning this week, the world was shrouded in fog. It was one of those mornings that make you feel fresh and alive, yet separated from the rest of the world by the fog that is surrounding you. While on the trail, I noticed these beautiful spider webs glistening in the dew created by the fog settling on the grass and the trees. They just caught my eye and seemed to have a message for me. So, while walking, I was contemplating what message the spider may have for me. And then all of a sudden there was this click, click, click and the message was settling in my being. It was not from the spider though, but from the fog. Without the fog, I probably would not have noticed the spider webs. They would have gone unnoticed. However, they were a true work of art and beauty, bringing me a precious moment of joy and awe.
And there was the message that I would like to share with you: even when everything may seem dense and unclear, there is always a treasure to be found.
You know, we may feel like we are surrounded by a dense fog these days, cut off from the rest of the world, from our family, our friends, and from so many things we used to enjoy so much. And yes, sometimes it feels like the fog may never be lifting, leaving us unsettled and uncertain as to where our path is leading. But on this walk Mother Nature made it clear that this fog is showing us certain treasures that otherwise would be missed. Of course, we have to be willing to see them. If we only focus on the fog and on the inability to see far ahead, we will miss the treasures that are right in front of us. We will miss whatever the fog is highlighting for us to see. And that may be different for everyone.
For me, some of the treasures that were brought to my attention were definitely related to lingering fears and old habits. Over the past ten years, I have been doing a lot of inward traveling and exploring. I could see my path clearly and I was focused on fulfilling my purpose in this life. And then the fog came in the form of lockdowns, stay-at-home orders and travel restrictions. No longer being able to see my kids, my parents, my friends, no longer being able to just go out and browse some stores, I noticed that there was still stuff that I was running away from. There was still guilt lingering in my being. There were still remnants of old beliefs influencing my decisions, one of them being "if I am not a good girl, I will be punished". And because the fog was taking away the possibility to see the path far ahead, I was able to see what was right in front of me: the darkest corners of my being that were in need of some more work. Just like the sun seems to shine more intensely when piercing through the fog, this standstill was highlighting these remnants of old beliefs and stories and made them catch my attention. And just like the dewy spiderwebs brought me joy, the discovery of how certain lingering fears and beliefs were driving my decisions, brought me a deeper awareness and connection with my essence.
Making plans, looking forward to travels, to gatherings and parties was always an important part of my life. Yes, my journey had already brought me to a broadened awareness of the present moment, but this fog took it to a whole other level. There is no more planning, no more trips that are booked, no more parties to look forward to, there is only now and how I am being in this now. That is my treasure in this fog: deepening my connection with me, just me being my imperfect, sometimes messed up, beautiful self.
Some of the other treasures that were highlighted by this fog are the deep love between me and my husband, grateful to be in this fog together. Or the intense gratitude for my home surrounded by nature, being able to sit outside and hear the song of the birds, witnessing the robins built their nest again on my front porch,. Or the peace that comes from surrendering to having no plans. Or the joy that I feel when I hear my children, no longer taking our get togethers for granted. Every emotion is made more intense by the sun piercing through the fog. And yes, that may also include the not so welcome emotions, but that, my friends, is exactly what the treasure is: becoming aware of all of it, all of us, looking into our darkest corners and discovering that there is nothing there to be scared of.
And so, let me ask you: what is the treasure that you are seeing in the fog?