The Essence of Being Me is Miles away from my Comfort Zone
The further I go on this journey, the more I am being pushed out of my comfort zone. Or at least what I consider my comfort zone, because let's be honest, our comfort zone is usually nothing more than a hiding place.
It is a place where I will go to hide from my true self whenever I am rebelling against all the work that I am expected to do on this never ending journey. Yes, rebellion. Sometimes I am just so tired of the responsibility and the chaos that come with the journey. Sometimes I just want to go back to my ignorant life and be done with the endless explorations. Sometimes...
And then, there I am, hiding in my comfort zone. A dull, quiet place where nothing is calling me and all feels safe. Before I started my journey, I honestly thought that this was the best place for me to be. Staying away as much as possible from new and possibly dangerous situations. Being the good girl, making sure that nobody would have a reason to get upset with me. Definitely not exposing myself to any risk of failure. I never realized that my comfort zone was limiting my true potential and was preventing my soul gifts to be shared with the world. Before I started my journey my comfort zone was my normal hangout.
Now, after having been on the journey for almost ten years, my comfort zone is located in a land far, far away. And sometimes it is beckoning me, especially when my journey is pushing me again a step further. I can feel the excitement of traveling further and discovering new treasures, but at the same time I feel the safety of my comfort zone calling me. The thing is though that my comfort zone can no longer satisfy me. The times I decide to go back I find it boring and lifeless. There is nothing there for me anymore. I have outgrown my comfort zone.
And that makes sense, because my essence is me in continuous expansion and my comfort zone is frozen in time. Over those ten years I have traveled so far from my comfort zone; becoming a writer, publishing my book, speaking in public, organizing retreats, sharing myself completely and in all honesty. I am no longer the good girl and I have definitely exposed myself to the risk of failure, public failure even. And yet, it feels so good, it feels so right and it feels so me.
So then, why not just completely abandon that comfort zone? Because, I cannot let it go just yet. I might get to the point where my comfort zone is just too far away to even be calling me, but right now I can still hear it. In the past few weeks, as I am working on yet another step into expanding myself, I have heard the call more frequently. And when I notice that I am delaying and procrastinating, I know that I have retreated to my comfort zone. Usually this goes hand in hand with reverting to my comfort foods of pasta and chocolate. But as I said before, I do not hang out there too long anymore. The fire inside is pushing me to create and expand. My soul is pushing me to grow even further into my essence. I feel the possibilities and abundance in this fire and I haul myself out of my comfort zone and into my beautiful life.