Sometimes my life feels like a forest shrouded in fog. Everything seems to be unclear and confusing. I feel lost and in need of direction. Where is the road I am supposed to be on?
When 11 years ago I started my journey of becoming me, the fog was very dense and the road was completely invisible to me. Actually I would even say that even before my cancer diagnosis, basically for most of my life, I was living in a world of fog, confused about who I was and where I was going. I would gather my courage and keep walking, trying to ignore the fog, occasionally bumping into trees, and eventually ending up on the edge of a cliff. Yes, I stood on that cliff a few times, the cliff of anxiety and stress. Most of the time I would just backtrack my steps and find another way in the fog. It turns out I was just walking in circles, always coming back to that same point on the cliff. My cancer diagnosis was the moment where I decided to go and find out if maybe I could fly and in that way find my way out of the fog.
It was the scariest thing I ever did, but I discovered that indeed I could fly and soar high above the forest,. I discovered how the light of my essence was burning away the fog and showing me the path. The more I dove into the darkness of the ravine, the more the sun was reaching every corner of my world and showing me its full beauty. I discovered that the world was not scary, but tremendously beautiful. I discovered that I am not alone, but always surrounded with guidance and support. I discovered that the fog is created by my mind.
However, this does not mean that the fog never returns. It does. There are days that again I am walking in that forest, searching for the path. The difference now is that I know that even a brief moment of connection to my true self will shine a ray of light in the fog, illuminating the path. I know that only a brief moment of stepping out of my mind, of becoming the observer instead of the participant, is sufficient to dissipate the fog, even if it is only for a few seconds. And that is all it takes for me to rediscover my faith in myself and remember that I can fly.
How do I create that brief moment of connection? There are a few tools that I use: meditation, going for a walk in nature, writing, read a story from my book The Taste of Becoming Me".
It is important to remember that no matter how dense the fog, no matter how confusing the world, your essence will always guide you home to you.